If Only
by Temperance Cross
Summary: This wasn't fair. But as always, as Tifa had always told her, life wasn't fair. And this hurt, it hurt like a bad break-up song after someone just stabbed your love in the face.  Onsided Yuffie/Vincent


Brown eyes fluttered closed and lips twitched into a small frown, this wasn't fair. But as always, as Tifa had always told her, _life wasn't fair_. And this hurt, it hurt like a bad break-up song after someone just stabbed your love in the face. But, she knew she'd make it through everything, it wasn't like she couldn't move on and find someone else. Because _he_ was too busy longing after a lost love.

It wasn't like she was _dead inside_, was it? She felt, she loved, she could see people for what they were and unlike him, she knew that she could move on from this (oh she _hoped_ she could). It wasn't like he had experimented on her like his "_love_" did to him.

She'd get through this, she told herself again, she _had _too. She was ignoring the fact that she felt like she was going to die from the stabbing pain in her stomach. It wasn't _right_, it was _never _going to sit right with her; knowing she was passed over for a _dead woman_, and there was _nothing_ she could do to make him see her for who she really was: a woman with _needs_ and _feelings_. She loathed the fact that no matter how old she was, there would always be the notion that she was just this little annoying girl with a penchant for stealing materia.

She threw a book across the room, letting it hit the wall, the thump of it against the wall and sudden ringing made her realize that her home phone was ringing and the loud voice she never wanted to hear again came through the speaker through was hooked to the answering machine.

"_Yuffie, we are going on a mission tonight, check with Reeve for more information."_

For peepsake, she wanted to throw something at the damned phone and she wanted to kick a certain female scientist's crystallized grave into a ravine or something, maybe even deface it a little. It'd make her feel better, but she knew she wouldn't be able to do it; it would make _him_ upset and possibly even _disappear_ all fucking over again, and she wouldn't be able to get it out of the cave, let alone carry it outside and throw it into a ravine.

She sucked in a deep breath and felt her chest tighten and her heart broke all over again as the message ended. He didn't even sound sorry about the night before, did he even know what it had done to her? She could hear his words so clearly, right in her head.

'_I can't Yuffie, I just_ can't _love you.'_ He had said with his passive face, eyes gazing deep into hers, pale lips slightly parted and he was so damned _cool_ about the whole damn situation, while she was standing there trying not to break into pieces and show him exactly how she felt about this whole damned thing.

She had acted so strong in front of him, chalking it all up to be a joke, but those knowing crimson eyes saw through her, like they always did, always will. He must've knew that she was breaking inside, and for some damned reason he wasn't going to apologize for breaking her heart and apologize that he couldn't love her like he loved _her_.

How could she still have such a hold on his heart like that? She had _experimented_ on him, she had turned him into what he was. Maybe he had this weird Stockholm Syndrome effect to the fucking woman? Her head bowed and she growled to herself, _what a fucking piece of work_. She didn't even know why she even bothered, why she let that puppy-dog love fester and grow until she knew she wouldn't be happy unless _he_ was. And even _she_ could see that he was far from happy sitting in that fucking cave, wasting his years pining after a woman that didn't _deserve_ him and made him feel like _he_ deserved nothing either!

Her breath hitched in her throat and she frowned to herself more, her feet kicking a pillow off of the maroon couch she was sitting on as she continued to curse the woman that held him in such a silly trap. If only he knew how to _let go_, if only he knew how to _move on_ and be _happy_.

If only she hadn't fallen in love with the damned _vampire_ that didn't understand emotions and was in love with a giant idiot who also didn't understand what proper 'love' etiquette was.

If _only,_ she scoffed and her fingers tightened in soft fabric coating the sofa; if only she could let him know what he was missing, if only she could drag her down from the pedestal he set her on and show him that the one who _loved_ him was right there, pining after him and ready to try and make him _let go_ of _her_.

She couldn't understand why he wasn't able to do it, even Cloud was able to let go of Arieth, he went for the woman who always waited for him- She didn't get him, he wouldn't be able to release it, feeling like he owed her something- It infuriated her, she just wanted a chance, one night to make-believe that she was just as good as _her_, to show him that she was waiting off to the side, that she wouldn't give him up no matter what he said, what _anyone_ said.

Yet it didn't stop the pain that came from knowing she would never get that goddamned chance, instead; she was stuck in the great all-mighty pit of self loathing and the even more great pit of hatred for that sorry-excuse for a _woman_.

But there was a job to do and she needed to do it. Even if it was with _him_.

If only she could get out of it.

* * *

Don't Own Anything.


End file.
